Thursday, October 30, 2003

Reasons Why Everyone Should Buy Shoot From The Hip, Part Four

How could anyone possibly resist an album with lyrics like 'We're divorced before we wed / I'm reborn before I'm dead / Straight from the mouth of Mr Ed / Invited to the party in my head', the fluff of which is almost immediately undermined with the sharp awareness of 'You're selfish / Like me / It's why we get along / Famously / We're English / As well / So we're a / We're a / We're a little bit ashamed of ourselves'.

Seriously kids, everything you need to know about life you can find out from this album.

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Thursday

The end of The Almighty Jessica's time with us is growing near, but she brushes a tear aside and continues answering your sad little problems. Onward...

Nicholas writes:Dear Jessica, I am writing to you in a state of turmoil. You really are my last hope. I am a reasonably healthy, happy, intelligent 22 year-old. I like to think I am caring and reasonable, and other people say I am fairly attractive. I get on well with people from all walks of life, except very rich people, and very poor people, and very posh people, and very common people, and very stupid people, and people who like Brian Dowling, and people whose names have too many syllables, and people whose names don't have enough syllables, and anyone who seriously thinks that 'I Dream Of Jeannie' is better than 'Bewitched', and people who don't see any serious harm in liking Atomic Kitten, and people who don't 'get' Björk, and people who, when asked about the Pet Shop Boys, say "I don't really know many of their songs", and people who think that putting coving in a studio apartment is a good idea, and vegans. Anyway, twenty years ago, I was sitting in a playpen with my (then) brother, and we were playing with the rattly dodecahedron thing with a different-shaped hole in each face, which you have to push the various little shapes into. He managed to get nearly all of them in correctly first time (obviously he fucked-up with the semi-circle and the oval, but wouldn't anyone?) and I told him that he was very clever and talented because of it. Then we emptied all the little shapes out, and I had a go. I got all of them into the correct holes first time, and was feeling really pleased with myself, but by this point he'd lost interest, and had wandered-off to watch the original (and far, far superior) series of 'Little Miss And Mr Men'. I was left feeling alone, and unappreciated. The problem is that I think this may have affected most of my adult relationships. I cannot trust people not to just turn away and ignore (and consequently devalue) my achievements, and it makes it very difficult to know how to respond when people show some interest in me, however small. Whenever people try to take an interest in my life, I usually just end up snapping something angry like "Oh, why don't you just fuck off and watch Little Miss Naughty instead? She's a spiteful little bastard, and so are you." I worry that this may come across as a little strange. I have tried to bring the subject up with my brother, but he claims not to remember the event at all (which I find very hard to believe given that it was a mere twenty years ago) and suggests that I try to forget about it. What a bastard. Forget about it? HOW CAN I?! Rejection has become my life. Please help me. You're my last resort. In hope for a lit candle and a brave new future, Nicholas.

The Almighty Jessica says: Dear Nicholas, this is an all-too-common tragic tale of a neglected childhood. During my tenure as an agony aunt, I have observed many cases of sibling rivalry where the scars have been borne well into adulthood. Your tale moved me, but I would like to reassure that there is help. First of all, it is not too late to rebuild bridges with your brother. Call him. Tell him that you still feel hurt by his rejection, but that you forgive him. Forgiveness is important, Nicholas. Without it we can never let go, and if we never let go then we will forever be stunted as people. Once he realises you've forgiven him, the ground will be wide open for you to discuss the many ways in which this has scarred you, and the truth of your pain will become apparent to him. This may not be easy, but it's the best way forward. And from there, you can let go of your resentment and become a man. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

Wow! Is there no end to The Almighty Jessica's talents? We'll be ever so sad to see her go next week - but she will be here for one more day, to tie up the loose ends of your problems. And we've got something rather ace planned for next week...

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Reasons Why Everyone Should Buy Shoot From The Hip, Part Three

Because her cover of Olivia Newton-John's 'Let's Get Physical' is sublime. It sounds very sombre, as though she's saying "if we don't get physical, we'll have to break up." Sophie Ellis-Bextor should give lessons on how to do cover versions properly. And her first students should be Atomic Kitten, whose new material seems to just be a way of killing time between rubbish cover versions.

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Wednesday

The Almighty Jessica has been absolutely inundated with the trauma of lesser mortals like the rest of us. So, without further ado, here's another problem to which she has lent her invaluable time...

PopPony writes: Dear Jess, I've been living a lie for the past 22 years. Whenever people have asked me if I was Pope Gregory IX I have always said 'No!'. This isn't strictly true since I was aware from an early age that I had been someone very powerful and important in a previous existence. For several years I assumed I was Alexander the Great but a session of regressive hypnosis revealed that I had been many different important figures from history including said Pope, a greek male prostitute called Giorgos who died in a tragic hot air balloon crash in 1977, Florence Nightingale and a shopkeeper from Betws-y-Coed who died of Small Pox in 1552 whilst visiting relatives in Abersoch. How can I tell my friends this without being ridiculed? I feel so ashamed but I can't keep living this lie. It's tearing me apart. Please help me. M. x

The Almighty Jessica writes: Dear PopPony, I feel your pain. This is clearly a very difficult time for you. However, if you carry on living this lie it will onlu cause you further pain and unhappiness, and you may find it even harder to admit the truth the longer it takes. You must remember that if they truly are your friends, they will understand you, and continue to love and support you as they have done before. Perhaps you could approach the subject gently, and in stages? Why not try turning up to lunch one day in full Papal robes? Or wearing a nurse's uniform down the pub? Then if they ask, you have the perfect opportunity to explain. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

Wow. The Almighty Jessica's advice just gets better. She's here till Friday folks, there's still time to get your problems in. Tomorrow she'll be dealing with Nicholas and a painful childhood trauma.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Reasons Why Everyone Should Buy Shoot From The Hip, Part Two

Because how could you not want to buy an album where the penultimate track is called 'I Am Not Good At Not Getting What I Want'. What are you, a charlatan or something?

Reasons Why Everyone Should Buy Shoot From The Hip, Part One

Because Sophie wrote two songs on it all by herself, and they're ace. So if you don't buy it, that would show a rudeness and disregard for all her hard work. Shame on you.

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Tuesday

There is truly no limit to the Almighty Jessica's almightiness. And she has generously agreed to share it with you lucky people, sorting out your "problems".

BestWorst writes:Dear Steve... I mean Jessica, I have a problem, and I'm hoping you may be able to relieve me of my agony, you being an 'agony' aunt, an' all. I have fallen out of love with television. I cannot look at the trash that makes up the tv output today, without thinking of the Mighty Muffin the Mule, Jamie and His magic Torch or even Bazaar, with Nerys Hughes. Please help - how can I rekindle my lost love affair - the flame used to burn so bright!

The Almighty Jessica says: Dear BestWorst, fear not. This is a common experience, and it will pass. However, should you wish to speed up the process, there are a number of things you can try. Why not try watching Pop Idol on ITV on Saturday nights? It may not be groundbreaking, but it's very entertaining. Don't forget to vote for Susanne. Or how about Little Britain, which you can see at 9pm tonight on BBC Three? Or The Fairly Odd Parents, on BBC One on Thursday at 4:35pm? And if none of that sounds exciting, you can always get some excellent recommendations from this lovely site of which I think you are already aware.
Your fixation with Bazaar gives me cause for concern. While I realise Nerys Hughes is a demi-goddess, this show was clearly rubbish. I advise you to seek help from a trained professional, or you can call my special helpline today only: "I yearn for bygone daytime TV programmes that weren't very good" on 555 WATCH-TRISHA. Good luck.

Thanks, Almighty Jessica! Tomorrow: the man who would(n't) be Pope...

Monday, October 27, 2003

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Monday

Yes, that's right, the almighty Jessica from Liberty X is now in session to solve all your problems with her out-and-out aceness. So without further ado, let's see what she's got to say.

Confused from Wilby writes: Dear Agony Aunt Jessica - not Aunt Jess(ica Fletcher) I hope! - I have a terrible problem. Nick has much nice showers at his gym than me. Please help. Lots of love, Confused from Wilby xxx.

The Almighty Jessica says: Dear Confused, I can appreciate your distress. However, it is not helpful to spend your life feeling envious of others, since it can perpetuate a vicious circle, and you will find you are never happy. Learn to love the showers that you have. Think about the ways in which you do love them. Alternatively, forsake going to the gym altogether and do the Liberty X workout video from the comfort of your own home. Hurrah!

Sound advice there from the Almighty Jessica. She'll be back tomorrow solving the problems of a Mr BestWorst of BestWorst Crescent in her own uniquely ace manner. If you have a problem that you'd like the Almighty Jessica to solve, please detail it in the comment boxes below.

DISCLAIMER: Jessica, in the unlikely event that you read this, please do not sue me. This is all meant in the best possible affection, because you are an icon to lesser beings like myself. Steve x

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Agony? Let Jessica help you...

We're very sorry that there haven't been any updates for a few days. There's been a bit of an upheaval here at Panda Towers, but normal service should be resumed in a day or two.

However, we are very excited to have secured a special guest columnist over the next week: the almighty Jessica Taylor from Liberty X. We are very pleased to have the lovely Miss Jessica joining us since she is clearly the best thing about Liberty X, and she is our second favourite Jessica in the world ever.*

However, this left us with something of a challenge. What could we possibly offer Jessica to do on this site that is worthy of her almightiness? And then it came to us, in a flash of brilliance: Jessica will write the very first Panda Pops Agony Column.** So please, boys and girls, tell Jessica your problems in the comment box below, and over the coming week, she will use her brilliance to find you a solution, or your money back.***

*For those of you who are curious, our favourite Jessica in the world ever is the lovely Miss Jessica who runs Dirrrty Pop.
**Although it is technically possible that Steve will write it and just pretend he's Jessica.
***But since we weren't charging you in the first place, don't expect anything to come of this.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

The Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband Fortnightly Performance Appraisal

That's right, just under two weeks ago we granted new kids on the boyband block Phixx the prestigous title of Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband (hey, we don't hand these titles out to just anyone, you know). However, this was on the condition that we'd review their progress in two weeks' time, since we weren't confident enough in them to give them the award permanently. If you like, we're letting them temp while we toy with the idea of giving them a full-time contract.

So, here in handy bullet point format, is the results of Phixx's performance appraisal. I know it should be confidential information, but if they cared that much, they ought to have made me sign something.

* We can still only name three members of the band: Mikey, Nikk and Andrew. More work is needed in this area, boys. If I can name all five members of Triple 8, I'm going to want to be able to name all five members of Phixx.
* We still don't really fancy any of them. However, this is not a huge problem since a recent investigation carried out by Panda Pops' research staff concluded that we don't really fancy any boys in pop at the moment anyway.
*We wish their PR people would stop milking Andrew's gayness (fnarrr). Yes, he's an openly gay man at the start (such as it is) of his pop career, and that's ace in our opinion, but there's no need to remind us of it every five minutes. Although if he marries Will Young, we want an invite.
*Their debut single, 'Hold on Me', is proving impressively reluctant to get out of our head. We fully intend on buying it when it's released. However, they're not currently at the top of our Impending Singles From Popstars: The Rivals Bands chart, since Girls Aloud's 'Jump (For My Love)' is currently getting much heavier rotation here at Panda Towers. (Although technically Spray's 'Need Ya Baby' is trouncing both of them. To hear it, go here. For more information on Spray, go here.)
*The competition is still pretty rubbish. Blue's new single is hideous, Westlife have always been rubbish and nothing looks like changing there, and it's all very quiet on the Triple 8 front at the moment.

So, with that in mind, it is the decision of this jury to extend Phixx's reign as Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband for the time being. But we'll see them back here in another two weeks just to make sure. Here's your trophy back, boys. Be careful, it's got sharp bits.

Monday, October 20, 2003

The Officially Non-Racist Corner

Hurrah! Earlier today a jury found Cheryl Tweedy of Girls Aloud to be guilty of assault on a toilet attendant, but not guity of the "racially aggravated" part. Obviously it's not the best outcome in the world, but anything that doesn't result in one-fifth of the UK's joint-finest girl band going to the chokey is all right with us.

We're supporting you all the way Cheryl. And you look ace in the video for 'Jump (For My Love)'. Hurrah!

Incidentally, the jury are still outstanding on the case of Coyle vs. Roberts. Nadine Coyle is charged with hogging all the singing and getting the best shots in the videos. Ms Roberts declined to comment, but did write "Botherd" on the back of this reporter's coat.

Hilary: duff?

We're losing sleep here at Panda Towers. And no, it's nothing to do with that ferret that keeps climbing in through the window at night and biting our toes. And no, it's nothing to do with the veritable cornucopia of buff hotties that are queuing for twenty miles down the street*. No, our loss of sleep stems mainly from the fact that Hilary "Lizzie McGuire" Duff is launching a pop career.

Deep into the night you can hear the high-pitched squeals of "what is to be done with this Hilary Duff?" You see, on the one hand, she was associated with the Lizzie McGuire TV show, and as such we are sort of honour bound to love her. But, on the other hand, what I've heard of her music so far appears to fall into the category of "watered-down Avril Lavigne", which isn't good. I mean, 'So Yesterday' is catchy, but it's just so wet that after it gets into your head it slops back out of your ears.

So in short our chief problem right now appears to be wanting her to be acer than she actually is. As problems go, it's not exactly insurmountable, but I'll bet ten-to-one that 'So Yesterday' turns out to be the high point of the album.

Now all I need is my little animated alter-ego to pop up and demonstrate for the slow-of-thinking that this upsets me. Um...cartoonist? Hello?

*This may have only happened in a dream I had last Tuesday.

Friday, October 17, 2003

The Panda Pops Award for Least Interesting Comeback!

In many ways, it feels like the end of an era. But in all other ways, we're bloody glad to be at the end of this week because it wasn't nearly as much fun as we thought it might be. Three of the blonde girls from Hollyoaks are planning to sue us for stress as a result of being detained "against their will". I promptly informed them that I received much greater pain from watching them trying to act, but that didn't go too well. Everyone's got their coats on and they're standing by the door, so there's only one thing left to do: announce the winner of the Panda Pops Award for Least Interesting Comeback.

And the winner is...

Well, who else could it have been? With such a singularly uninspiring single as "White Flag" to greet us again, Dido blew all the competitors out of the water. We here at Panda Pops were totally underwhelmed by it, and frankly wished she'd go away again. Although hopefully there'll be another twenty-year gap between albums if we're lucky.

Dido says: Great! I can write a song about this, and sell it to Britney Spears and make lots of moolah, no matter how rubbish it is.

Honourable mention goes to: Gareth Gates. His comeback wasn't that uninteresting in itself, but his fans didn't seem to give a rat's ass.

Well, that's it, kiddos. No more until we decide to do it again, which may be never. Now, if you'll excuse us, the celebrities are clamouring at the door to be let out....hey, no wait! Stop that! Behave! Avril Lavigne, PUT THAT DOWN! And don't think I can't see you over there, June Sarpong. Oi. OI!!

Thursday, October 16, 2003

The Panda Pops Award for Best Use of Almost No Clothes in a Video!

We're beginning to think that trapping all the celebrities in here for the entire week was a bit of a mistake. We had to cave in a little and let Heidi from Sugababes leave after she fainted. This may or may not have had something to do with our failure to provide adequate catering. Though we remained firm and told Mutya and Keisha that unless they fainted too, they weren't going anyway. Funny, they didn't seem to want to eat the carrots we provided for dinner today. Anyway, if we're all strong enough to stand, it's time for the Panda Pops Award for Best Use of Almost No Clothes in a Video,

And the winner is...
Blu Cantrell, for Breathe!

Well, this was pretty much a runaway winner. Good old Blu, bless her. Still not quite ready to leave the (alleged) pornographic past behind her, was she? So skimpy outfits were the order of the day. Just as well, really. They serve well to detract attention from the fact that her face was caked in twelve feet of make-up, and the fact that she pulls such odd faces when she sings. A deserving winner.

BLU SAYS: This statue's going to need more make-up.

Honourable mention goes to: Christina Aguilera. Well, she had to feature in this category somewhere, didn't she?

The final award tomorrow, everyone. I think the slebs are quite pleased by that thought...

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

The Panda Pops Award for Best Unintentionally Hilarious Music Moment!

Well, it's been absolute bedlam here in our top secret location. The stars are none too happy being kept here all week for the close of the ceremony. There was a nasty moment earlier when Jennifer Ellison tried to claw her way out through the locked doors, but luckily she was sedated by a member of our specially trained medical crew (read: dragged back to her seat by me and a friend). So, before it gets really nasty and a member of the Slater family from EastEnders tries to clock us over the head with a Ming Vase, let's get on with it. The Panda Pops Award for Best Unintentionally Hilarious Music Moment.

And the winner is...
Blazin' Squad, for We Just Be Dreamin'!

Okay, we admit it, this one's a bit of a cop out. There are probably much better hilarious music moments to be awarded, but we just couldn't help ourselves. It's just the sight of all of them ambling around aimlessly, trying to look street but just coming off rather vacant. To my eyes, it's just very, very funny. Which makes it all the more worrying that their new single is quite catchy (although it still features its fair share of retarded rapping, which is a small relief). But basically any moment where these guys sit around acting all street is always amusing to me. It's sort of on the same level as me pretending this blog was written on the streets of Compton.

BLAZIN' SQUAD SAY: This award'll look right nice in da ghetto.

Honourable mention goes to: Kelly Osbourne's entire music "career".

Another (better, hopefully) award tomorrow, viewers!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

The Panda Pops Award for Best Overtly Dramatic Moment in a Song!

There's been some unrest since the revelation of yesterday's award. Possibly because the many celebrities in the audience here at our top-secret venue were somewhat displeased to learn they aren't allowed to leave the room until the last award has been given out on Friday. We even caught that cheeky young scamp Matt from Busted trying to pee into an empty wine bottle, but we clipped him smartly round the ear and told him he'll just have to hold it in until Friday night like the rest of us. Anyway, on with the next award:

And the winner is...
Delta Goodrem, for Innocent Eyes!

This was a clear favourite with the judges. The frankly bonkers piano crescendo in the middle of Innocent Eyes absolutely makes the song, and blew the competition right out of the water. The fact that the accompanying video has Delta going all Kate Bush on us didn't exactly hinder her chances either.

Sadly Delta couldn't be here in person to accept her award (the rumours that she was too busy stuffing slutty Edwina's mouth with peanut clusters are, so far, unsubstaniated), and there must have been a slight problem with the live satellite link-up, because instead of Delta's heartfelt acceptance speech, we got this lovely picture of a puppy. Enjoy.

Honourable mention goes to: Sugababes, for the middle eight of "Round Round". The main reason this didn't win is that we'd have had to give the award to Heidi because she sings that bit, but we were worried that Mutya and Keisha would come round and bully us into giving them awards too.

Another award tomorrow!

Monday, October 13, 2003

The Panda Pops Award for Lamest Ad-Lib!

Wow! The levels of excitement here at Panda Towers are positively brimming (brimming, they are!) on the eve of the announcement of the winner of our first award. So, without further ado, let's declare the winner of the Panda Pops Award for Lamest Ad-Lib.

And the winner is...
Rachel Stevens, for Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex!

This was indeed a closely fought competition, but Rachel won through for her stunningly pointless "hey yea yeah" ad-lib over the final chorus of Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex. The judges prized Rachel's performance above all others for the reediness of the voice, and for the fact that the only reason they could think of for it being there was Rachel possibly wanting to drown out Cathy Dennis for a few seconds. We caught up with Rachel, and here's her acceptance speech:

Rachel says: Ooooh. Pretty ribbon.

Honourable mention in this category also goes to: Avril Lavigne at any awards ceremony when trying to prove she's not mindlessly reading from an autocue.

Another award tomorrow, kids!

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Coming next week: the Panda Pops awards!

Not that I'm really, really bored, or remotely stuck for content or anything, but we've got another theme week coming up: yes, it's time for the Panda Pops Awards! We're giving out five awards (yep, you've guessed it, one each day) in the following categories, starting Monday:

Lamest ad-lib
Best overtly dramatic moment in a song
Best unintentionally hilarious music moment
Best use of almost no clothes in a video
Least interesting comeback

Now we think we've got some serious contenders to win these awards, but as always, we're happy to have our minds changed. So please feel free to use the comment boxes to nominate a particular superstar for any of these awards. Or we'll come round and chin ya. Or something.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Panda in "almost predicts future" shock!

Regular readers (yes, all four of you) may have noticed me comment yesterday that the new Phixx single made it seem "as though Duran Duran had never been away". Well, imagine my surprise to hear on the radio this morning that Duran Duran are not away after all, and are planning a series of comeback concerts.

Good news for my brother. Possibly bad news for Phixx.

Thursday, October 09, 2003


It has come to my attention that those of you who followed a link here from Lowculture have been promised "a buff hottie every day, often with his shirt off." I've not really been delivering on that recently, have I? So, partly to address this imbalance, and partly to address the fact that I'm feeling a bit randy this evening (sorry), I give you:

The Thorpedo!


Please check your credibility at the door... I have had to do, with the shameful realisation that I really like the new Phixx single.

On paper it didn't look very promising (well, would you be enthused at the prospect of a record from the five people the public deemed "not good enough to be in One True Voice"?), but against all odds it's a corker. It's very 80s sounding (anything Holly Valance can do...), and much funkier than anything OTV ever managed. And while the dominatrix video might look a bit try-too-hard, at least it doesn't look like a joint Burtons/Mondeo advert.

It's almost as if Duran Duran never went away (must remember to tell my brother, he'll be ever so pleased). And even better, one of them's a genuine real-life gayer, so they say.

There's currently a vacant space on the shelf labelled "Panda Pops' favourite boyband". We had Triple 8 up there for a while, but after an embarrassing interview in Boyz and a duff second single, we kindly set them free. And we're loathe to put Busted up there, since they're not technically a boyband, due to the instruments and the lack of dancing. So, should we put Phixx in this position? Let's examine the evidence:
- Funky first single? Check.
- Video showing lots of flesh? Check.
- Token gayer? Check.
- Do we fancy one of them? Ah...
Yes, technically we don't fancy one of them yet. But that's not being ruled out, since we've decided anything's possible after realising we fancied one of Blazin' Squad. Possibly even two.

So we're willing to grant Phixx temporary space on the Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband shelf, to be reviewed in two weeks' time. Mark your cards, boys.

The Adventures of Kelly Osbourne: Dumb Bitch (Part 212)

Lock up your originality, kids, Kelly Osbourne's trying to make a comeback. Apparently she's been in talks with none other than Melanie C to find out how to have a hit single.

Kelly, let me save you some time and inform you now that Lisa Lopes won't be taking your calls.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

The comment boxes are working again.


Tuesday, October 07, 2003

This is how much I love you lovely, lovely people...

I've just paid genuine cash to get my comment boxes working again, so I and the rest of the world can read your lovely comments. So they'd better be good in future, bitches.

Anyway, they should be back up and running within the next 48 hours. I can just tell you're all waiting with baited breath...

A new icon is born...

Admittedly my new icon is not Ms McIntyre, as pictured above, but the lady sat just left of centre in said picture.

Yep, my new icon is none other than Marissa Ramsay, sales rep for Tannissimo Intensive Tanning Products and arch-henchwoman to tart-tongued Kelli Jaconelli. There are many reasons why we love Marissa here at Panda Towers. One reason is that she was meant to be called Melissa, but her dad had an ear infection at the time. Another might be the fact that she speaks each word as if it might be her last. Another still might be the fact that she is oddly literal, in a manner not unlike Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (although Marissa doesn't have the excuse of being a former demon).

But really the reason why we love Marissa more than life itself is because she (as do we) appreciates the value of home made shepherd's pie when attempting to woo a buff hottie. Marissa Ramsay, we salute you.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Since Lowculture is ill today...

I command you all to watch Terri McIntyre tonight. I'd hate to think you might forget, or something.

Also: I want your reasons why I should persevere watching Pop Idol. Frankly, I'm bored with all the ultra-bland automatons who are through to the final so far, and I really don't think I can give enough of a rat's ass to sit through another twelve weeks or whatever.

So, leave your suggestions in the tagboard (I'm working on fixing the comment boxes) and the best suggestion as to Why I Should Stick With Pop Idol might win a prize.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

We regret to inform visitors to this site...

...that we have no pictures of Siobhan Donaghy in a lesbian context. Despite the fact that we know some of you came here searching for them. Sorry.

Buff Hotties Revisited

I said I wasn't going to close Obscure Buff Hottie week until I'd found a picture of Robert Webb. Well, it may be a bit blurred, but I've found one. He's the blond one in the middle, obviously:

I'm also very excited by the existence of this.

And I'm quite tempted to go here and get me some tickets.