Wednesday, October 22, 2003

The Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband Fortnightly Performance Appraisal

That's right, just under two weeks ago we granted new kids on the boyband block Phixx the prestigous title of Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband (hey, we don't hand these titles out to just anyone, you know). However, this was on the condition that we'd review their progress in two weeks' time, since we weren't confident enough in them to give them the award permanently. If you like, we're letting them temp while we toy with the idea of giving them a full-time contract.

So, here in handy bullet point format, is the results of Phixx's performance appraisal. I know it should be confidential information, but if they cared that much, they ought to have made me sign something.

* We can still only name three members of the band: Mikey, Nikk and Andrew. More work is needed in this area, boys. If I can name all five members of Triple 8, I'm going to want to be able to name all five members of Phixx.
* We still don't really fancy any of them. However, this is not a huge problem since a recent investigation carried out by Panda Pops' research staff concluded that we don't really fancy any boys in pop at the moment anyway.
*We wish their PR people would stop milking Andrew's gayness (fnarrr). Yes, he's an openly gay man at the start (such as it is) of his pop career, and that's ace in our opinion, but there's no need to remind us of it every five minutes. Although if he marries Will Young, we want an invite.
*Their debut single, 'Hold on Me', is proving impressively reluctant to get out of our head. We fully intend on buying it when it's released. However, they're not currently at the top of our Impending Singles From Popstars: The Rivals Bands chart, since Girls Aloud's 'Jump (For My Love)' is currently getting much heavier rotation here at Panda Towers. (Although technically Spray's 'Need Ya Baby' is trouncing both of them. To hear it, go here. For more information on Spray, go here.)
*The competition is still pretty rubbish. Blue's new single is hideous, Westlife have always been rubbish and nothing looks like changing there, and it's all very quiet on the Triple 8 front at the moment.

So, with that in mind, it is the decision of this jury to extend Phixx's reign as Panda Pops' Favourite Boyband for the time being. But we'll see them back here in another two weeks just to make sure. Here's your trophy back, boys. Be careful, it's got sharp bits.


Post a Comment

<< Home