Panda Pops

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Tuesday

There is truly no limit to the Almighty Jessica's almightiness. And she has generously agreed to share it with you lucky people, sorting out your "problems".

BestWorst writes:Dear Steve... I mean Jessica, I have a problem, and I'm hoping you may be able to relieve me of my agony, you being an 'agony' aunt, an' all. I have fallen out of love with television. I cannot look at the trash that makes up the tv output today, without thinking of the Mighty Muffin the Mule, Jamie and His magic Torch or even Bazaar, with Nerys Hughes. Please help - how can I rekindle my lost love affair - the flame used to burn so bright!

The Almighty Jessica says: Dear BestWorst, fear not. This is a common experience, and it will pass. However, should you wish to speed up the process, there are a number of things you can try. Why not try watching Pop Idol on ITV on Saturday nights? It may not be groundbreaking, but it's very entertaining. Don't forget to vote for Susanne. Or how about Little Britain, which you can see at 9pm tonight on BBC Three? Or The Fairly Odd Parents, on BBC One on Thursday at 4:35pm? And if none of that sounds exciting, you can always get some excellent recommendations from this lovely site of which I think you are already aware.
Your fixation with Bazaar gives me cause for concern. While I realise Nerys Hughes is a demi-goddess, this show was clearly rubbish. I advise you to seek help from a trained professional, or you can call my special helpline today only: "I yearn for bygone daytime TV programmes that weren't very good" on 555 WATCH-TRISHA. Good luck.

Thanks, Almighty Jessica! Tomorrow: the man who would(n't) be Pope...