Thursday, October 30, 2003

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Thursday

The end of The Almighty Jessica's time with us is growing near, but she brushes a tear aside and continues answering your sad little problems. Onward...

Nicholas writes:Dear Jessica, I am writing to you in a state of turmoil. You really are my last hope. I am a reasonably healthy, happy, intelligent 22 year-old. I like to think I am caring and reasonable, and other people say I am fairly attractive. I get on well with people from all walks of life, except very rich people, and very poor people, and very posh people, and very common people, and very stupid people, and people who like Brian Dowling, and people whose names have too many syllables, and people whose names don't have enough syllables, and anyone who seriously thinks that 'I Dream Of Jeannie' is better than 'Bewitched', and people who don't see any serious harm in liking Atomic Kitten, and people who don't 'get' Björk, and people who, when asked about the Pet Shop Boys, say "I don't really know many of their songs", and people who think that putting coving in a studio apartment is a good idea, and vegans. Anyway, twenty years ago, I was sitting in a playpen with my (then) brother, and we were playing with the rattly dodecahedron thing with a different-shaped hole in each face, which you have to push the various little shapes into. He managed to get nearly all of them in correctly first time (obviously he fucked-up with the semi-circle and the oval, but wouldn't anyone?) and I told him that he was very clever and talented because of it. Then we emptied all the little shapes out, and I had a go. I got all of them into the correct holes first time, and was feeling really pleased with myself, but by this point he'd lost interest, and had wandered-off to watch the original (and far, far superior) series of 'Little Miss And Mr Men'. I was left feeling alone, and unappreciated. The problem is that I think this may have affected most of my adult relationships. I cannot trust people not to just turn away and ignore (and consequently devalue) my achievements, and it makes it very difficult to know how to respond when people show some interest in me, however small. Whenever people try to take an interest in my life, I usually just end up snapping something angry like "Oh, why don't you just fuck off and watch Little Miss Naughty instead? She's a spiteful little bastard, and so are you." I worry that this may come across as a little strange. I have tried to bring the subject up with my brother, but he claims not to remember the event at all (which I find very hard to believe given that it was a mere twenty years ago) and suggests that I try to forget about it. What a bastard. Forget about it? HOW CAN I?! Rejection has become my life. Please help me. You're my last resort. In hope for a lit candle and a brave new future, Nicholas.

The Almighty Jessica says: Dear Nicholas, this is an all-too-common tragic tale of a neglected childhood. During my tenure as an agony aunt, I have observed many cases of sibling rivalry where the scars have been borne well into adulthood. Your tale moved me, but I would like to reassure that there is help. First of all, it is not too late to rebuild bridges with your brother. Call him. Tell him that you still feel hurt by his rejection, but that you forgive him. Forgiveness is important, Nicholas. Without it we can never let go, and if we never let go then we will forever be stunted as people. Once he realises you've forgiven him, the ground will be wide open for you to discuss the many ways in which this has scarred you, and the truth of your pain will become apparent to him. This may not be easy, but it's the best way forward. And from there, you can let go of your resentment and become a man. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

Wow! Is there no end to The Almighty Jessica's talents? We'll be ever so sad to see her go next week - but she will be here for one more day, to tie up the loose ends of your problems. And we've got something rather ace planned for next week...


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