Panda Pops

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Dear The Almighty Jessica... - Wednesday

The Almighty Jessica has been absolutely inundated with the trauma of lesser mortals like the rest of us. So, without further ado, here's another problem to which she has lent her invaluable time...

PopPony writes: Dear Jess, I've been living a lie for the past 22 years. Whenever people have asked me if I was Pope Gregory IX I have always said 'No!'. This isn't strictly true since I was aware from an early age that I had been someone very powerful and important in a previous existence. For several years I assumed I was Alexander the Great but a session of regressive hypnosis revealed that I had been many different important figures from history including said Pope, a greek male prostitute called Giorgos who died in a tragic hot air balloon crash in 1977, Florence Nightingale and a shopkeeper from Betws-y-Coed who died of Small Pox in 1552 whilst visiting relatives in Abersoch. How can I tell my friends this without being ridiculed? I feel so ashamed but I can't keep living this lie. It's tearing me apart. Please help me. M. x

The Almighty Jessica writes: Dear PopPony, I feel your pain. This is clearly a very difficult time for you. However, if you carry on living this lie it will onlu cause you further pain and unhappiness, and you may find it even harder to admit the truth the longer it takes. You must remember that if they truly are your friends, they will understand you, and continue to love and support you as they have done before. Perhaps you could approach the subject gently, and in stages? Why not try turning up to lunch one day in full Papal robes? Or wearing a nurse's uniform down the pub? Then if they ask, you have the perfect opportunity to explain. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

Wow. The Almighty Jessica's advice just gets better. She's here till Friday folks, there's still time to get your problems in. Tomorrow she'll be dealing with Nicholas and a painful childhood trauma.