OH DEARO
As my most recent, pro-Rachel Stevens, entry might have suggested, I'm not exactly the most discerning listener there has ever been. Indeed, you can pretty much dress up any old shit and sell it to me if it's got a hummable tune and someone moderately good-looking at the front.
But I'm listening to a promo CD of Simon Cowell's new "popera" boyband Il Divo, and their single, 'Regressa Mi'. It's 'Unbreak My Heart'. In Italian. Sung in a not-especially-impressive-or-powerful-it-might-actually-be-Gareth-Gates cod-opera style. And I'm wondering who the hell is going to buy this shit? I'd even credit Westlife fans with more refined tastes. Hell, I'd credit Atomic Kitten fans more sophisticated than that.
Jesus wept.
KARMA: WHAT A BITCH
We were reading
Popjustice this morning, and we came to a horrible realisation on the subject of Rachel Stevens. Let us have a brief walk through her discography:
1. 'Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex' - we liked this. No surprise there, so did a lot of people.
2. 'Funky Dory' - we liked this too. A bit harder to qualify, since no one else appeared to and it bombed like a Bush.
3. 'Some Girls' - we liked this an' all. "But it's okay," we thought. "It's really a Richard X track with Rachel just doing the vocals. This doesn't mean anything."
4. 'More More More' - this is where it gets sticky. This is an awful track. It wasn't a terribly good song in the first place, but Rachel's vocals are weak, the backing track is comical, the production poor - and yet we still keep playing it. Which probably means we like this too, despite there being no earthly reason why we should.
So, unfortunately, we have taken this to mean that we are officially a Rachel Stevens fan. And with that, ladies and gents, Panda Pops promptly
jumped the shark. We can only consider this karmic payback for what we said about
Popbitch last time. Not that that makes Popbitch any less shit these days. In fact, jumping the shark shouldn't really bother us that much, since we were shit all along. Phew!
PAP-BITCH
Popbitch claimed this week that after hearing the recent V single and the new Girls Aloud single (only this week? Where exactly were they when it was premiered on Core Control
weeks ago?), the latest
Jump the Shark award should go to Xenomania.
We thought about this, and eventually decided they had every right to say that.
After all, it's only fair that previous recipents get a say in where the trophy goes next.
