Friday, March 26, 2004


You could hear the gay shrilling at Panda Pops towers across the land yesterday, as we secured our much-desired seats for Will Young's forthcoming UK tour at the decidedly fancy-schmancy Royal Festival Hall. We quite wanted to try and get Madonna tickets as well, but - much as we're convinced that no price is too high to see Our Glorious Leader in full concert throttle - we just can't stretch our finances further. We're hoping, however, that if we take up prostitution now, we might just have enough to see her by the next time she tours, assuming no one asks us for a refund.

But back to Will - we're very excited at the thought of seeing him live in concert, and we're probably lucky that our seats are too far from the stage to legitimately plan to throw ourselves at his feet and babble marriage proposals. Once we'd stopped screaming "EEEEE!", we started to turn our thoughts to what treats may lie ahead at this concert. And then we started thinking how it's not uncommon for bands and artists to do a cover version of a favourite song specifically for their tour (this, after all, was what led to No Doubt covering 'It's My Life', which may be a good or bad thing depending on your appreciation of their version - we're just disappointed they decided against doing Depeche Mode's 'A Question of Lust'). We're fairly certain that after Pop Idol and his first album, Will probably wants to get away from doing covers. Nonetheless, we thought we'd draw up a little shortlist of songs he could choose from, just in case he changes his mind.

SONG: The Crystals, 'And Then He Kissed Me'
SAMPLE LYRIC: "All the stars were shining bright / And then he kissed me."
WHY THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE: It's a very sixties-sounding song (possibly because that's when it was recorded, we're not entirely sure), which is a style that would suit Will's voice rather nicely. We think this song has ample opportunities for some "business" (nb. official showbiz term) with the microphone when performing (à la the 'Your Game' video). Plus it would finally silence all the militant gayers who want to hear Will sing songs about macking on boys.

SONG: Lene, 'It's Your Duty'
SAMPLE LYRIC: "Handcuff up your boss, yeah be rough, he might like it like it / He'll get a rise, you'll get a raise, don't tell his wife about it."
WHY THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE: This was one of the most lyrically accomplished songs of last year, and Will performing it might just give it the exposure that Lene, sadly, didn't manage. It requires a lot of character and gusto in the vocals, which would give Will a chance to use his musical theatre background for skill. And let's face it, who doesn't want to hear Will sing the words "it's your duty, duty / To shake that booty, booty / Small fat or round or juicy"? Who? Only mad people, that's who.

SONG: Alisha's Attic, 'Pretender Got My Heart'
SAMPLE LYRIC: "Love can be strange when you're open and naïve / Love got a hold, got a gun / And then shot me."
WHY THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE: Again, it's an ace song that deserved far more exposure than it got. It's all moody and mournful, which is a tone that Will does extremely well. And it would be a great excuse to get Karen Poole in to do backing vocals (and Shelly too, that would be even better), which might just be enough to cause us to die from sheer overexcitement. Hmm, on second thoughts, perhaps it's not such an excellent choice.

SONG: Girls Aloud, 'White Lies'
SAMPLE LYRIC: "I don't wanna hear you say I'm sorry, babe / Cause now it's already too late / Don't take the easy way ou-ou-ouuuut."
WHY THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE: We want to hear Will do some proper angry songs, rather than quiet polite determination songs. This was quite possibly the best unreleased album track of last year, and would add some ever-welcome sass to the set list. And any excuse to hear the best middle eight in the history of pop music, really: "No way ou-ou-ouuutt! No way ou-ou-ouuutt! No way ou-ou-ouuutt! No way ou-ou-ouuutt!"

SONG: Allure featuring 112, 'All Cried Out'
SAMPLE LYRIC: "Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno / Romance of these flames, why should I take the blame? / You were the one who left me neglected / Apology not accepted, add me to the broken hearts you've collected."
WHY THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE: Because it's a duet about a relationship break-up, and they're always good. Plus this song screams "Duet with Andrew from Phixx" from its very soul.

I'm suddenly having a Eurovision: Making Your Mind Up flashback. I'm half tempted to put this to the vote.


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