Monday, January 12, 2004

Clothes Swap

When Panda Pops was but a gayer-in-training (because, as a wise woman once said, "you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it"), we were told that one of the ace things about being gay was that you can wear your partner's clothes if you can't find anything of your own. What we didn't realise at the time, and has now been brought to our attention, is that there is a severe limit of clothing available for the gays, and shortages have become so extreme that you now have to share with other gays even if you're not going out with them.

Consider the evidence: as we all know, Panda Pops is a big fan of BBC One daytime, and we were paying avid attention this morning in anticipation of week 2 of AlistairWatch. We noticed during the return of To Buy Or Not To Buy that Kristian Digby had a nice stripey-jumper/cream jacket thing going on, something we didn't give much thought to at the time. Imagine our surprise, then, when we caught Trading Up half an hour later to find that Colin Or Justin (we haven't quite learnt to tell them apart yet) was wearing what seemed to be the exact same stripey-jumper/cream jacket combo!

This clearly points to an epidemic of clothes swapping amongst the gays on a grandiose scale (no doubt someone at Channel Four is already in the process of pitching Clothes Swap to Mark Thompson). We had no idea that circumstances had become so dire - we were under the impression that the gays were always buying new clothes, when they weren't at the gym, listening to Kylie, or staring at shiny things.

Of course, we wouldn't want to be left behind in this new craze, so if there are any gays out there who want to swap clothes with us, feel free. We're a size 30" waist, sometimes a 32" if we're shopping in H&M.


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