Thursday, February 12, 2004

Robbed! (A Panda Pops Protest)

Here at Panda Pops we're not greatly given to thinking. We had a narrow escape last Thursday when we almost thought about something and came periously close to being (gasp) deep. Fortunately for all of us, what would certainly have been a crisis was averted, and we're still as shallow as we always were.

But sometimes you can't avoid thinking about things, and such is the position we find ourselves in today. We're thinking about how Peter Andre (the real one, not, sadly, the former BBC royal correspondent as played by David Walliams) is almost certain to relaunch his recording career following his stint on I'm A Nonentity, Get Me A Lucrative Sponsorship Deal! And then we sat and thought about how we didn't really care, because he was rubbish and we hadn't missed him. And then we thought about some of the people who we thought were more deserving of a recording contract, people for whom the gods of reality TV did not smile on quite so brightly as P. Andre Esq.

And so we come to our protest. I present to you:

One Miss Jessica Garlick.

Perhaps I can't comment fully on Jessica's Pop Idol credentials, as I didn't really start watching the first series until the week that Rosie Ribbons lost the plot (along with the tune of 'The Winner Takes It All'). But I do own the DVD and have had a chance for a review, and frankly I am disappointed that she only managed ninth ranking. I'm not saying she deserved to win, but I'm rather flummoxed as to how Aaron, Laura and Darius managed to beat her, despite all being of mediocre talent at best.

There are those cynics who say that Jessica is a twofold loser, having failed to win Pop Idol or The Eurovision Song Contest. However, she managed a very respectable second-place at Eurovision in 2002, and given the utter trouncing we got for entering Jemini, I think it's about time we appreciate the fact that we can overcome much of the European neighbourly politics and vote-rigging that exists when we enter an able contestant with a decent song.

She did a lovely B-side to her Eurovision song entitled 'Whatever', and has the slightly dubious honour of doing the best performance on the Pop Idol Big Band Album (I realise it sounds like a hollow compliment, but it has its moments) with her rendition of Cole Porter's 'Everytime We Say Goodbye'.

So where is Jessica Garlick now? Living in Chiswick with Hayley Evetts, we are told, clinging to her popstar dreams like a drowning man clutching at a seagull's ankles. And yet somehow, thanks to ITV1, the far less able and even less wanted Peter Andre might be getting a second chance at stardom.

Does that sound fair to you? It doesn't sound fair to us. Let the protest commence! Rah! etc.


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