Sunday, May 09, 2004

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SCREEN, THIS IS NOT A POST ABOUT FOOTBALL



Here at Panda Pops, our interest in football usually begins and ends with staring at men in shorts with nice thighs. We have no particular interest in charting the progress of any one team through a league, whether it be the Premiership or the Nationwide Conference. We don't even have much of an interest in football songs, official or otherwise - Ant and Dec's nothing-short-of-genius 'We're On The Ball' notwithstanding.

Having said all this, we thought it worth mentioning that England's official Euro 2004 anthem will be a remixed version of 'Alltogethernow' by old-skool indie "kids" The Farm. Remixed by DJ Spoony, no less. We have to admit to being a little stumped by this choice, largely because everyone seems to have conveniently wiped from their memories the fact that it was the official FA Cup Final anthem of Everton FC in 1995. We'd have thought that a song with no team-specific bias in its history would have been a better choice.

Perhaps this points to the fact that there is a shortage of mediocre indie suitable for reversioning for football crowds. So we at Panda Pops would like to venture this 89th-minute penalty of a suggestion - why not use a kickass pop song? After all, pop songs are designed to be chanted tunelessly at the top of your voice, as a quick listen to Atomic Kitten's Greatest Hits CD will show you. It's too late to influence the choice of the Euro 2004 anthem, but we've come up with the following suggestions for the World Cup in 2006.

I Don't Need No Good Advice (I've Already Chosen The Squad) - Girls Aloud
Closer To Relegation - A*Teens
Off To Germany (And Coming Right Back) - Eamon
Anyone of Us (Humiliating Defeat) - Gareth Gates
Not Our Game - Will Young
F*** Me Football Boots - Amy Winehouse
Blink (And You'll Miss It) - Rosie Ribbons
Me Against The German Squad - Britney Spears

These are just the tip of the iceberg (or the bottom of the barrel, we did think of them all rather quickly). The tendering process is open for the next two weeks. This might be just the boost Gareth Gates was looking for, or the short-cut to the pop premiership Rosie Ribbons has been dreaming about.

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