Panda Pops

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Oops, she did it again...

*

Here at Panda Towers, Kelly "Twit Girl" Osbourne isn't exactly known for her ability to filter what comes out of her mouth, be it spoken, or erm, otherwise.

You may or may not know that she was due to appear at the Edinburgh Festival this year, presumably to silence her critics (honey, the festival's not that long). But, in true Kelly "Spokesmodel For The Delusional" Osbourne style, she cancelled. However, there were still some jollies to be had in the interviews she conducted with various Festival publications before the cancellation.

Apparently Kelly was "very unhappy" with Shut Up!, the album she released on Sony (her and the rest of the world), since she thinks it was cheesy and not going in the direction she wanted to go (presumably: forwards). If I may paraphrase, she claims that after she recorded her vocals "they put all these cheesy backing vocals on". Apparently now she's pursuing a new record deal, and hoping to make her music "edgier and rockier".

Sigh. Kelly, give it up now. If you really think that More Than Life Itself wouldn't be a mawkish, ludicrously sentimental godawful heap of shite if the backing vocals were removed, then you're even less intelligent than I gave you credit for. Fact: Kym Marsh has more chance of being edgy than you. Fact: Lolly had more credibility. IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. The most credible thing you can do now is retreat back into the cave.

* NOTE: I didn't want Osbourne's sullen face to disrupt the shininess of this blog, so I cunningly photoshopped the above picture to make her smile. Bet you couldn't guess...